So this week marks about 12 weeks since mum died. I blogged at 6 weeks about how I was feeling a bit “Meh” and that my feeling were all over the place.
You will be pleased to know that things are starting to settle down a bit. I feel a bit more emotionally stable day-to-day and nowhere near as irritable. Don’t get me wrong, I do have my moments of sadness and the all-too-quick irritation, but thankfully, I think I am getting better. – I dunno though, maybe you would have to ask my husband, colleagues and family if this true, but I hope it is.
I still look at mum’s picture from time-to-time as it’s really is hard to take in that I will never, ever see her again… that is something that I haven’t quite wrapped my head around. That she is no longer on the earth… It’s so odd to think that she is really gone.
It’s my dad’s birthday in a couple of weeks and I fear that might be a slightly odd celebration. I can’t imagine dad wants to go wild at the first one without his partner of 45 years. I know I wouldn’t.
However, life is feeling slightly more “normal” if there is such a thing and sometime last weekend I had a moment where I felt palpably happy. I stood for a moment outside the cinema in Manchester and felt joy. Like I hadn’t a care in the world.. progress….