Lies I was told as a child…

So as a child I was impressionable – but isn’t every child? I believed everything anyone told me and to this day, I still wonder if some of those things were true. My mum, dad and grandparents were fond of telling me all SORTS of tales and fact nuggets, some of which they told me for their own entertainment and some of which they told me to manipulate me into doing something! 

Here are some of my favourites:

  1. There is a church in Winwick right next to some traffic lights and my grandad used to tell me that there were pigs on the steeple of the church. The genius of this was that you could only look out of the car for the time that the traffic lights were on red (2 minutes) and the church wasn’t that well lit. This meant that you could have a little look, but by the time you had a) remembered to look and b) focused in the light, then the lights would turn green and off you went.

    To this day, I still look for the pigs, just in case they are there and I just haven’t spotted them yet! 
     

  2. When we travelled on the motorway when I was young, my dad used to tell me that the  cats eyes on the motorway, (little reflectors that were on the lane of the motorway and lit up using the lights from each car’s headlights) were actually REAL lights and that there was a man underneath the motorway running along with a torch to light them all up as we drove down the road. Man he must have been a fast runner!! 
     
  3. Plugs – so this was something that my mum told me when I was a teenagers, which I didn’t believe for one second, but makes me smile even now. She told me that I couldn’t plug the iron in upstairs as domestic sockets on the 1st floor of houses, couldn’t cope with the wattage of an iron! You see, she clearly didn’t want me to take the iron upstairs, but instead of just saying that, she made up this mad story!!! Again the genius of this, is that it’s SO mad, it could be true!!! 
     
  4. Chewing Gum – my mum & dad regularly told me that I couldn’t chew/swallow gum as it would get stuck on my tonsils and I would choke to death. I think most kids my age were told a version of this story. Utter hogwash. 
     
  5. My mum used to tell me that every time I got tonsillitis (every 6-7 weeks when I was 21), it was because I drunk out of dirty glasses on night’s out. Seeing as tonsillitis is a virus which can be caused by the common cold – this could be true… maybe…..
     
  6. Father Christmas – we used to live in a house with no real fireplace, so after watching lots of films and things where the old FC came down the chimney, my mum & dad came up with a brilliant story to explain how the big man effectively broke into our house. 

    They told my sister and I that he had a golden key which he would put in the front door, when he turned it, if it played a tune, then that told FC that we were asleep and he could come in a deliver our presents. However, if it was silent, then he would have to come back later. I actually think this is genius. 🙂 
     

  7. Another classic thing I used to get told ALL the time, was “if the wind changes, your face will stick like that!” – which was launched at me every time I pulled a funny face. Mental. 
     
  8. “Eat your carrots so you will be able to see in the dark” – unless they were magic carrots, not sure this one is true. 

I am pretty sure there were lots more and if I think of any, then I will update this page…. aren’t parents brilliant. 

Gill x 

Winwick Church Update: So as you can see from the top of this post, I have inserted a gallery of pictures to compliment my words. However, when I googled Winwick Church, I found an article and photgraphic evidence that THERE ARE PIGS ON WINWICK CHURCH!!!!!!!! MIND BLOWN!!!!!!!!!!

The amazing blog post is here: https://blosslynspage.wordpress.com/2013/03/23/the-obstinate-pig-of-st-oswald-church-in-winwick-warrington/ OMG!!!

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