So much of acceptance in society is based on how we look, how we present ourselves to the world. At this time of year especially, when seemingly every TV advert, documentary and online article is focussed on people losing weight and becoming a “new person”. But frankly diet culture is very wearing.
I’m in the middle of my own weight loss journey, but it’s very important to remind myself why I started. I was unhealthily overweight, I think the term you might use is “medically obese”. I couldn’t climb stairs and I struggled to get clothes to fit me, my resting HR was too high and I was at risk of Type 2 diabetes (which runs in my family).
You see, beauty has nothing to do with weight or dress size and I know this for a fact. I used to work with a girl years ago who, on nights out, used to get approached by guys ALL the time. She was an exotic looking brunette which was a big hit with every penis within 5 feet of her. However, this particular girl was also an absolute hard-faced cow so no matter how symmetrical her face, her bitchy nature used to shine through if you spent more than 10 minutes with her. *Side note* I bumped into this person a couple of years ago at a funeral of all places and we exchanged brief pleasantries. Later when I needed to get past her in a room full of mourners, she firstly pretended that she didn’t hear me when I said the the standard “Excuse me”, I tried again with no response and eventually when I tapped her shoulder and repeated my request, she moved perhaps an inch, so I still couldn’t get really get past with bumping into people’s chairs. We had no beef whatsoever, but like I said, 🐮.
But I digress. Beauty is definitely something that different people have a different idea of, which is one of the wonderful things about it. I have known people that were long-term single and heard them lament about different people that they knew that were happily in relationships whilst they remained on the shelf. One was even more candid than perhaps they intended to be wondering out loud why a person they knew had a boyfriend, when that person “didn’t go to the gym or anything”. I remember thinking at the time that perhaps that comment explained her singledom, but who am I to judge….
My point is basically this. Beauty is whatever you want it to be and it doesn’t depend on how you look. That’s not to say, don’t try to look good, whatever that means to you. Wear clothes because they make you feel kick-ass and not because you think you should or worse, because you think other people will think you look good.
As I get older I care so much less about what other people think about me, but this is something I have learned over time. I think I know what type of clothes suit me and I am now not really swayed by trends. I want to feel sexy and I obviously want my husband to find me attractive, but I know that part of my own power comes from confidence, some of which comes from me wearing stuff I feel amazing in.
They biggest thing I try to do is not say bad things to myself because if anyone told my friends “That looks shit on you” I would immediately jump in and tell them they were wrong, ergo, why did I ever say that to myself?
Don’t get me wrong, I am not perfect at this and there are definitely times when my own confidence takes a knock, but I am actively trying to empower myself in 2018. Women are amazing, beautiful and powerful and this has nothing to do with dress size. Be healthy, be skinny, be bigger, be curvy, big boobs, small boobs, strong, curly, bald, hairy, small, tall or absolutely anything that you like, it’s ALL beautiful. Don’t let anyone, any Instagram or Snapchat filter tell you otherwise or even make you think for one second you aren’t good enough. Unless you are Donald Trump, in which case, you are crap. Otherwise, you are AMAZING!
p.s. this photo is in 2 halves, the first one is taken straight out of the shower and the other one is after I am dressed and I have put some makeup on. My tendency is to think I look like CRAP in the first one, but it’s my face and my face is definitely NOT crap. If I had smiled then the 2 photos would have been the same apart from a bit of mascara and things. Both sides of this image contain me, who works hard, loves her family, laughs at fart jokes, gives back and is kind to strangers. This is my beauty.