Sad News

Very sad news to report as my lovely mum Margaret passed away in her sleep last night. I was staying overnight with her as she didn’t want to be on her own and also so my dad could have a decent sleep. So as it happened, I was about 2:15am and I was on my own with her. She just drifted away.

Cancer is such a cruel disease and it’s robbed me of 3 out of 4 grandparents, my beloved Peggy Dog and now my mum. It’s not fair and we really really need to find a cure.

Don’t know what to say, so I just thought I’d leave you with her lovely face.

G x

 Margaret Esther Dixon 1946-2015

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So this is quite a tough diary to write as yesterday mum had a bad night and both my sister and I had the day off so we could help look after her. She was visited by both the doctor and the district nurse and because of her deterioration, the conversation turned to End of Life Care. *sighs* 

We discussed things like syringe drivers and “do not resuscitate” orders. All quite heavy but unfortunately necessary. Mum was understandably upset and dad is somewhere down a river called denial. 

In some odd way, we did have a nice day though as all th family were together and even my gorgeous 2 nieces came at the end of the day to eat ice pops and play in the garden. They are 9 and 5 and had no idea of the seriousness of the situation – what a blessed and light relief. 

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So this time last year, give or take a few weeks, my mum was diagnosed with Stage 3 Oseophageal Cancer. We’ve had a very hard journey since then, I might write another blog on another day to tell you just how hard, but the timeline goes something like this:

  1. April 2014 – Diagnosed Stage 3 Osephagus Cancer
  2. July 2014 – Started 2 x lots of oral chemotherapy
  3. Operation to remove Osephagus scheduled in for early September 2014
  4. August 2014 – Difficulty swallowing, meaning Mum didn’t eat anything for 3-4 days.
  5. Admitted to Whiston Hospital for a stent to be but into her throat to open it up so that she can eat. This failed.
  6. Whilst at Whiston, mum walked to lift to find dad, fainted and broke her hip in the fall. It was pinned the next day.
  7. Cancer operation delayed by 6 weeks.
  8. End October 2014 – Osephagus and cancer successfully removed.
  9. Oct – December 2014 – Mum unable to recover post op as kept getting persistent chest infections, pneumonia, becoming generally weaker and more frail.
  10. Jan – Mid Feb 2015 – Home from hospital, weak but managing with support.
  11. Feb 2015 – She experiences breathing difficulties and is admitted to Whiston Hospital, diagnosed with recurrent Osephagus Cancer Stage 4, spread to her lungs.
  12. She is sent home and referred for palliative radiotherapy.
  13. Attends our local cancer hospital for radiotherapy and after blood tests, is deemed too unwell and is transferred to the nearest general hospital for assessment.
  14. During her stay there, she becomes critically unwell as she vomits during the night and swallows it, which goes onto her lungs. She is unresponsive, but resuscitated by the crash team.
  15. March 2015 – She is seen by a consultant who tells her that she is now too weak for treatment and she should go home and be with her family.
  16. She then started to go somewhere every day to not waste any time. She attends a couple of family events, which she enjoys.

So as you can see, the whole thing is a sorry tale of treatment and crisis and the stress this has caused not only for mum, but on the family is immense. It’s almost unbearable to watch someone we all love to much, be destroyed by such a cruel disease. And if you are wondering just how much things have changed….

Such a happy smiley person with everything to live for, to someone in the last few weeks of their life.

Breaks my heart 🙁

Gill x

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