So this weekend is almost 5 months since mum died and I am pleased to report that things continue to improve. I say “improve” but you have to take that with a pinch of salt.
My mum died in April 2015 and I will be forever changed because of that, however, my day to day existance has slowly improved and each day the grief becomes a little less raw.
Thing that that are good/help
- We had a week away in Anglesey and it was so relaxing that we realised that we shouldn’t leave it so long again before we have a real break.
- Other people have noticed that I appear to be doing better
- Not everything I see remind me of mum
- We managed to get through Dad’s birthday without it being too weird or sad.
Things that are not so good/need work
- My sleep pattern hasn’t totally returned to normal.
- It’s our youngest niece’s birthday in October and it feelS very wrong and sad that mum won’t get to see them grow up.
- Dad is doing better, but clearly still suffering.
Then of course last night, when I was doing fine and hadn’t really felt upset for a while, I was watching an episode of Grey’s Anatomy where one of the characters dies and it winded me. We had to stop watching whilst I gathered myself. It was like the on-screen characters had touched a raw nerve. 🙁
I guess I will never be fully healed… but I do think I’m getting there.