I wanted to share with you today a little thought I regularly have about thinking before you speak. The reason I wanted to share with you this, is that over the years, very often people have just said things to me that were hurtful, thoughtless and basically not very nice. People don’t think before they speak.
Sometimes people like to say hurtful things with the excuse “I’m just being honest” – well the opposite of lies isn’t rudeness.
The difficulty for us as human beings, is that we only remember the bad stuff. We could get a compliment every other day for a week and if on one of those day someone also insulted us – that’s what we would remember.
In the last 2 weeks I have been told I have got “huge bags under my eyes”, (when I was fully concealed and made up), I was told that the fact that I had a YouTube channel was “childish” and I was barged into by someone who thought I should “walk faster”. These three truth tellers were a mix of people I love, people I work with and a complete stranger and I would like to say it doesn’t affect me, but it does. Which bugs me.
Also over the last 2 weeks, I have been told that I look lovely by colleagues, I looked really pretty by my husband and that I was amazing by a friend! In fact a few other people have said nice things to me which outweighs the negative. But my fingers still wander to my eyes wondering if I do indeed look incredibly tired.
I know that’s is a question of my self confidence, which is mostly ok, but sometimes wobbles, but I think people just need to be nicer to each other.
You never know what someone elses day involves. Imagine being incredibly rude to someone before 8am and really upsetting them. Then that person has to go and care for their terminally ill friend. Imagine insulting someone’s hairstyle, and that person remembers that insult and feels bad about themselves when getting a hair cut for the next couple of years.
I never in my life thought I would quote Cher, but:
Do you really want someone to remember what you said as a throwaway remark for the next ten years so that it subliminally dents their confidence every time they try something new?
Be nice to people – say nice things – or just be quiet.