Worst Train Journey Ever? | Travel

Worst Train Journey Ever? | Travel

Summer 2018 – Newton-le-Willows 🚂 Newcastle

This journey was supposed to involve 2 x trains; Newton-le-Willows to Manchester Piccadilly (25 mins) and Manchester Piccadilly to Newcastle (2.5 hours). It actually took 3 x trains and over 5 hours. Let me explain…

I arrived at my local station to find my train into Manchester was 36 minutes delayed (something about me likes how precise rail network are about these things). “OK” I thought, Airpods in, podcasts on, no big deal. I arrived in Manchester after the delay and managed to get my booked train to Newcastle as I had actually left in plenty of time. Still no drama. It was a very hot day and once I found my seat, I realised my train was hot and as the train pulled out of the station I was searching furiously for a window to open. Cue a train announcement:

🔔🔔 ‘”Hello this is your train manager, the thing is…” (not a good start) “The thing is, is that this is not a direct train to Newcastle as we are going to terminate at York” groan ” because we have no working toilets and 2 out of 3 carriages have got no air conditioning”

Ok great, I thought, I needed a wee before we left, thought I could go on the train, but I guess that’s not happening now. OK, coping strategy……I have downloaded Hidden Figures onto my iPad, I will just watch that and it will distract me from now my INSTANT need to go to the loo. I will be Fiiiiiiinnnneeee 😫. Nope. At the next stop, someone I vaguely know from work gets on, (who is lovely I might add) and I now have to politely chat to him all the way to York. All the time my brain is having a battle with my bladder. Going well so far…

We arrive in York after a 2 hour SLOOWWW train journey, everyone is hot and bothered and busting for the loo. Another train arrived fairly quickly and we pile on. It’s standing room only, but by some minor miracle, I get a seat at a table with a family of 2 small kids and a mum. As I sit down, the mum points at the little boy, who I notice is in the fetal position in the seat beside me, “Just so you know, he’s just been sick on the platform, so you might have to move if it happens again” – then to the little boy “actually, if you do feel sick, just be sick on mummy’s cardigan”  – which he is cradling. OMFG – I am SOO phobic about vomit and so I am now having the quietist of panic attacks on a very packed train. HR 180 bpm.

We finally arrive in Newcastle and after over 5 hours travelling, I haul my suitcase and tired/sweaty self from the station up to my hotel. But as as I try to check in, the hotel initially have no record of my booking 😡. I don’t know how I held it together, but after some perseverance and a slightly gritted teeth style conversation, they found my booking – only to discover, they didn’t have payment from my employer. OMG. I handed my credit card over in silence and when I eventually arrived in my room I think this is fair representation of how I looked and felt:


Have you had a worse journey? I would love to hear.. Follow me on Twitter and let me know…




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